So I'm up to 50 mg on the Lamictal and it doesn't seem to be working as well. I keep having the same dream over and over, with various scenarios, of Mark leaving for one reason or another. I thought maybe I'm just too paranoid (relationship anxiety), which I'm sure is some of it, but then again, maybe I don't feel secure in my relationship for some reason. I told him about it and we'll see. Something needs to work and we both need to work on our relationship. I'd hate to throw 25 years out the window, but I can't live in pain all the time, either. If I wanted to feel alone all the time I WOULD be alone. So, we'll see. I seriously think Chantix fucked up my brain permanently. I was never so insecure before it. However, I still think something is causing the insecurity. Like I said, I'm sure some of it is me, but I'm also sure some of it is him; either something he's doing or not doing. I just don't feel loved and he says he's trying, but I've told him repeatedly that I'd liked to be touched more, etc. and it doesn't really happen. And it's not that he's not that sort of person because I remember it happening when we first got together. Just wondering if it's "old and stale" now. Everyone used to say we seemed like the happiest couple they had ever met. No one says that now. Even as recently as when we moved here 2 years ago. Something has changed, and it's not all me and my emotions. Oh well. Off to try to make it through the day. Happy weekend, everyone.